Big News… We are out of IBESR!

We had a big moment of Celebration last night in this long process of adopting our son through Haiti.  You see this paperwork below?  Big news… It’s out of IBESR.     

 

I’ve celebrated with other families as they have been informed of the progress of their papers.  And I must say I underestimated the pure screaming joy and what it would feel like to be personally told the same news.  I could not stop running around the house and screaming.  Then the girls started screaming.  And then we hit the play button on our favorite black eyed peas song and danced away.  Then facebook and texting and phone calls.  Whew! what a time.It’s just one small step but it’s a huge step. 

Momentum can to do the heart good.  So we celebrate answered prayer.  We now change our prayer from getting our papers out of IBESR to getting them into MOI.   And most important of all we keep praying for our dear friends who are still waiting to get their papers in the system.  My heart continues to break for them as they wait.  But I know I will be celebrating with them one day soon where this same news that we got yesterday will penetrate their hearts and bring them so much joy…. and we’ll continue to celebrate each step. 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

T-Minus 6 Days and Counting

Frankie and me last January during our last visit together.  I can’t wait to have three people in the picture here soon!

This time next week, Dave and I will be in Haiti and spending some time with Frankie.  It’s been a while since I’ve given a Frankie update. We really have not had much news to report. Our file that was finally entered this past April is still in IBESR the first step. Some people are in this step for 6 months, others in it for more than a year. There is no rhyme or reason for it. As of today we’ve been in this step for 7 months. The wait goes on.

I’m very excited about having Dave meet Frankie and to visit Haiti for the first time. The place that has stirred my heart and has shaped me since my first visit there as a Junior in high school. The country that our son is from. I got an email update yesterday from our contact who said last week they had a team in and there was a girl that looked lot like me… She said Frankie was enthralled with her and was calling her mama. It gives me some hope that he will remember me. That he will know I’m different. He’s so young still that I’m still someone that comes and goes like so many others. I’m just praying for a great bonding time while we are there as we get to invade on his world for a few days.

I’m amazed by our girls and their love for their brother they have never met. Just a few nights ago as we were doing our normal routine for getting them down for bed, Izzie prayed first and her unprompted prayer was for Frankie to know that we love him. Emma followed by praying for safe travel for mommy and daddy as they go see Frankie in Haiti. He is always on our minds and in our hearts. His absence is always felt even by the girls. Izzie and Emma now share a room together and the other empty room right now is Frankie’s. His room is waiting for him along with his family.

Every time and I mean every time we think of Frankie or this process or hopes that he will be home sooner than we think, we don’t ever for one minute not think of the hands of people who have prayed for us or so generously given to help us in this process, or encouraged us with their words. It blows us away. And it’s always at the moments that we least expect it that David Reichley at Wayfarer will let us know that someone else has given to our fund. I can’t even put words on it. Even today in the mail came a gift with the instructions to use the money towards our trip and get something special for Frankie. Our trip alone is a blessing. Someone offered to get one of our tickets so that both Dave and I could go. We’ve been VERY humbled to sit and see the Lord choose to use others to bless us. All I can say is that we are being faithful with what has been given to us and in this whole process have been able to bless others as well in their adoption journey.

We can’t wait to see Frankie. As a mom I’m a bit fearful of leaving my girls behind with Dave going along as well traveling to Haiti. So please just pray for peace about that for us. Pray for our girls as we are away. We are flying Spirit Airlines out of Atlanta which Dave is so thrilled about since he never has good experiences with off the track airlines. Which does not help my fear of flying either. But regardless of all the fears, it’s so important to us to be able to spend time with our son. I’m hoping to go back again in the spring and then the fall again and keep this up till he comes home. We are ever so thankful for the McHouls and Heartline and Maranatha Childrens home who are doing their part in preparing Frankie to live in an American home. There is a such a peace in this process knowing he is in the best possible hands we could have hoped for.

It’s so much easier knowing….

We receive a monthly email from Heartline.  The ministry that one aspect of it takes care of Maranatha  Childrens Home.  This month they featured info about Maranatha.  So many of you have asked me about Frankie and when I tell you how long the wait has been and will be… I always follow that with the comment of ” but we have so much peace because he is in the best possible place we could ever have hoped for.”  And let me let Beth tell you why….

I must tell you that we have the greatest kids and nannies at the children’s homes.  Although we have two houses and we could easily double the amount of children we have in the homes, we will not exceed twenty kids.  The reason for this is we want to keep a family style atmosphere and for each child to have a mother figure.  A family network is created where each child has siblings, aunties and a mom.  This sets a foundation for bonding with their new family and a life where they can attach and trust.  There is no substitute for this relationship.  Big orphanages can’t maintain these close types of relationships.  Babies and toddlers need a mom.  Children need someone watching them, caring for them and instructing them at all times.  For this reason, we choose quality over quantity.  Haiti has thousands of orphans.  We choose to help a few who will be able to live in a family, love a family and attach to their family.  We try to do it right and the results are eternal.  Children can love.  Children can function as family members.  Our kids are really close to each other and because adoptions take so long adoptive families are now friends.  Many of them have committed to keeping the kids in contact so they will grow up knowing their “Haiti Maranatha Family”. 
We intentionally stay small , we provide many nannies on purpose and we purpose for happy, healthy kids going to a home they can be a family member in.

We with twenty children are better able to give close and personal care and love during the two plus years that they are in Maranatha Children’s Home.  Adoptive parents can be assured that their waiting children are not left unattended, but rather as you can see in the schedule listed below the children’s days are quite full.

Even before the MARANATHA children wake their day is scheduled.  You have to be in good shape to keep up with our Maranatha Kids.

Schedule:

6:00 AM                     Wake-up
6:00 – 6:30                 Bathe & Get Dressed
6:30 – 7:00                 Breakfast
7:00 – 8:00                 Brush Teeth, Massage, Indoor Play
8:00 – 9:00                 Playdough, Swings, Monkey Bars, Trampoline                              
9:00 – 9:15                 Snack
9:15 – 11:00               Books, Blocks & Puzzles, Balls, Chalk, & Bicycles
11-11:30                    Lunch
11:30 – 2:00 PM          Nap Time
2:00 – 2:15                 Snack
2:15 – 3:00                 Video
3:00 – 4:00                 Outdoor Play: Swings, Trampoline, Bicycles
4:00 – 4:30                 Baths
4:30 – 5:00                 Indoor Play: Reading & Free Play
5:00 – 5:30                 Dinner
5:30 – 6:45                 Inside Play
6:45 – 7:45                 Nighttime Routine: Praise Video, Finger Play & Singing, Bible Story & Prayer
7:45 – 8:00                 Brush Teeth
8:00                           Bed

So as you can see Frankie is in GOOD HANDS.  We are so blessed to have found Heartline in this process and  which is another reason why this picture to this date is still one of my favorites.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much peace it brings to me when I’ve had a hard day thinking about him or a sad day missing out on his life from day to day right now.  I’m thankful for the people he has bonded with and who love him so much.

I have another big post brewing…  one that has been needed to be written for a LONG time.  It’s the post on the people… all the people who have helped us in this process financially and through their prayers.  There is not a time in a conversation or when I think of Frankie that I don’t think about all the people who are attached and bonded in this journey who have helped us…  not one moment.  Many days I’m too overwhelmed when I think about it.  But in this waiting…  all I have to do is think of the support and help people have given us and the wait, well it seems so much more bearable.

Life – all the more richer

Today our church had a time in the service for prayer for families who have adopted and are adopting.  The crowd is growing.  Love it.  This morning we asked Emma if she wanted to stand with us.  She wanted to.  Funny thing is that after church we had a few people stop us and tell us that they did not know that we had adopted her.  No telling how many other people think that.  I filled them in on our adoption of Frankie from Haiti.  Always love a chance to share a little of our family with people.

Today is a day that is a simple day but can leave me personally so aware of this process.  It’s easy to keep moving with life and not stop and think that we have known of Frankie now for a year and a half.  Today I became painfully aware of the absence of his presence.  Aware of the journey we walk.  Aware of the details and mountains we have already crossed but look at the ones ahead that seem so big.  I went back on my tracking on my blog  just to be reminded of this process.   It was May 2008 that we discovered Heartline and I saw Frankie for the first time standing in his crib not knowing that in a few months random things would come together and he would be that certain child that would be referred to us. 

10/09/09 – All docs done for HS
10/01/09 – Kim Physical…………
09/29/09 – Dave Physical……….
09/25/09 – Fingerprinted………..
08/15/09 – Have to redo HS…….
08/01/09 – 1-600A on Hold………
07/27/09 – Filed our I-600A……..
07/17/09 – Home Study update…
04/24/09 – Submitted into IBESR
02/08/09 – Waiting to get into IBESR
10/16/08 – Dossier arrived in Haiti.
10/10/08 – Dossier to Haiti!!!!!!!!
10/06/08 – Docs. back from Chicago
09/30/08 – Sent documents to Chicago
09/17/08 – All docs. translated
09/15/08 – Sent docs to get State Authenticated…………………….
08/21/08 – Psych Evaluation……
08/14/08 – Sent off 2 documents for State Certification in PA and FL.
08/13/08 – Final Home Study Visit
08/06/08 – Dave Physical………..
08/05/08 – Kim Physical………….
07/16/08 – Referral of Frankie……
07/15/08 – Second Home Study Visit
06/27/08 – Found Translator……
06/26/08 – Sent off Application…
06/26/08 – First Home Study Visit
06/06/08 – Found Homestudy person
05/13/08 – Received Application..
05/12/08 – Contacted Heartline..
05/04/08 – Visited Heartline in Haiti

Just last week Dave and  I booked a trip to go see our son.  We’ll head to Haiti in November.  I can’t wait.  I can’t wait to take Dave to see Haiti for the first time and to also have him meet his son for the first time.  It’s been almost 10 months since I last saw him.   10 Months of pictures. Here is one taken just a few weeks ago from our friends who were there visiting their daughter.  The only good thing about this whole long process is that we’ve had the chance to meet and journey with people who know exactly what we are feeling since they are in the midst of the same emotions and journey.  The internet and blogging and facebook has been huge for connection.  I’m so thankful for the people we have met in this process.

Can you believe this guy?  He is growing.  His hair is growing. (although he’s been asking for it to be cut)

Frankie with Shelley.  Shelley and her husband take care of the care of all the children in the boys and girls home.  We are so thankful for them and the care and direction they give the nannies that care for the kids.  They are doing all they can to prepare them to successfully bond with our family and our life here.

And here is my best picture yet.  This is my friend Sarah who actually got me all of these pictures.  There is nothing like a friend whom you’ve journeyed the adoption road with..  well this picture says it all for me.  I’m thankful for them and glad she was able to love on Frankie.  I’m hoping to return the favor in November.

So days like today?  They are hard ones.  Would not trade any of this journey.  The thing is, when God places something on your heart… at least for us we want to be obedient.  We love that we get to grow our family through adoption.  We would encourage anyone who has that desire at all to look into it and go for it.  We’ve already learned so much.  Am I scared of all the what if’s that could be waiting for us down the road?  Sure I am.  I pray every day that the Lord would prepare all of our hearts for the time when we all get to be under one roof and be family.  I’m made ever so aware of the threads that are already being strung together as each night Izzie our almost three year old prays for Frankie.  Every night she says “thank you God for Frankie. ”  We agree.  We are thankful for our two girls and our one son who make this life we life all the more richer.

A Frankie Update!

We just got an update last week on Frankie.  I’ve been thankful for a busy season in life right now because it takes my mind off the waiting and knowing there is nothing we can do but wait….

Aaron Ivey just wrote a great post last week on why adoptions in Haiti take so long.  He and his wife Jamie are adopting two children Amos and Story from Haiti.  Check it out his post here you are wondering why all the waiting…. 

Here are the latest pictures of Frankie  and some Frankie news…..

And at a “movie night” with some of his friends…

and news from the people that love him so much……
We resumed our nightly routine with the children a week ago Monday.  During English Camp we were unable to maintain the nighttime routine because of our responsibilities with volunteers, dinner, and preparations for the following day’s responsibilities.  However, all of the children and nannies participated during the first hour of English Camp.  Our first hour consisted of calisthenics, singing – praise and worship songs, silly songs, camp songs – a Bible memory verse, and a Bible story – which was nearly always acted out.  The children loved it, and so did the nannies.  I was especially glad that they participated because I knew that they were still being spiritually fed.

I have been very impressed with Frankie’s development over the summer. When we had our last night time routines before English Camp started, he was still needing to be held nearly the whole time (if he wasn’t he was all over the place).  He would watch and enjoy our songs and stories, but did not participate very much.  Since we have resumed our nighttime routine Frankie has completely amazed me.  He will sit near me, sing most of the songs, and does all of the motions to the songs – he is attentive and obviously understanding everything.  His attention span has grown considerably!  Frankie repeats everything – in both English and Kreyol.  He also understands both languages.

Frankie loves his vitamins, loves to eat, loves to play, and is generally a very happy boy!

Worth It.

“I’ve been listening to Aaron’s song “Amos Story” a lot this week and wanted to share it with you….  I love getting pictures of Frankie.  It’s the best.  I cherish every photo I get.  It is hard seeing your childs life in pictures when your heart desires for them to be physically with you.  It’s the wierdest feeling and so hard to explain.  A picture brings such joy and such raw awareness at the same time….  Yet still I would not trade a second of this journey.  It’s so worth it.

AMOS STORY
Aaron Ivey. ©2009 IVEYMUSIC. (ASCAP)

Another photograph to wrestle in my head
Another sleepless night on concrete featherbed
These thoughts of you like bullets to my soul
We’ve got to find a way to get you home

I’ll find a way to get you here
If it takes my fleeting breath
Another sunrise hits the ground
And it’s a dark lonely sight
Lightyears away I hope you know
There is somebody searching
For the way to get you here

I will get you here

Throw the clocks away and run out to the street
We’ll fly to distant clouds where it’s just you and me
A day will come when all of this is gone
You’ve got to find a way to believe

I’ll find a way to get you here
If it takes my fleeting breath
Another sunrise hits the ground
And it’s a dark lonely sight
Lightyears away I hope you know
There is somebody searching
For the way to get you here
I will get you here

Close your eyes and dream of a better day with me
As angels hold you tight, may you sleep in peace tonight

So dream, dream, dream my child
Hear the whisperings of hope
It’s a song that you can sing, as you sleep in peace tonight

Peace

Whenever we get in conversations about Frankie and our adoption process… hardly anyone leaves the following comment out… “I just don’t know how you guys do it… waiting that long? ”  For us it’s pretty simple.  We signed up for this long wait.  We knew going into an adoption from Haiti that the wait would be long.  2 years… dare I say maybe even 4? 

Is it hard?  Yes.  Did we know that going into it? Yes.  Do we wish we could go grab him right now and bring him home? Yes.  Is there tremendous peace in the process? Yes.

This picture says it all to me and helps this crazy wait.  Because in our waiting, Frankie is always found in loving arms.  And because of that reality, there is peace.

Oh no he did not!

Oh no he did not decide to outgrow his toddler days and become such a little boy!  Just got these pictures of Frankie this morning taken yesterday.  Can you believe it?  I’m really not shocked since I walk around each day with Izzie and wonder how the past 8 weeks could drastically take the baby out of her face and keep the little girl look.  Frankie is doing so well from all the reports we get.  I am so ready to get my butt on a plane and go see him.  November come quick!

The I600-A

Tomorrow we will be filing our I600-A.  Last week our dear social worker stopped by the house to do an update on our home study so that we can send it on it’s way. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we completed it.  Just another step in this long process.  We have waited to file since we wanted to maximize the time we may need before it expires.  I’m assuming we’ll have to file an extension regardless.

I’ve been thinking about Frankie all this past week.  Last week it’s been 3 months since we have been in IBESR.  It seems like just yesterday we got news that our papers had been filed.  So that is a very good thing.  These three months have flown by.  A lot of people are asking how long will we be in this stage?  Some people get out in 3-6 months.  A lot of people have been in this step for at least a year.  Some even two.  No rhyme or reason to anything.  We will have to get a presidential pardon since we have biological children so I’m really anticipating a year in this step and will be blown away if it’s sooner.  I pray everyday for speedy process of our files and for all of those who are in waiting.  And at the end of the day trust God’s timing in our journey.   One of my biggest heart prayers lately has been specifically that Frankie would have amazing experiences day to day with his friends and nannies and the visitors that come his way. That this time in his life living with all the boys would be a great positive experience that would shape him for the better as we wait patiently for him.  I just have to trust God with his life and his journey into joining our family.  At church today my friend Chad asked if he could pray about Frankie.  Everything he prayed for had been echoing my own prayers these past few months.  I’m glad God uses his people to encourage us when we need it to let us know that He know, He cares, He’s active.

I miss this fellow more than you know.  Thank you all who keep updated with what is going on.  For praying for us along the way.  I just hope and pray he’s aware at times that there are these people out there who truly love him unconditionally and are praying for his life each and every day.

Nanny School

I’m sorry to all of you out there who may get tired of opening my blog page just to see more adoption thoughts…. I’m not really sorry but thought I would attempt to put it out there in words to let you know that I know I talk about it a lot.  It’s a huge part of me and our family so thus the reason.  And at the same time if you know me you do know that our lives do not stop just because we are in this process.  We keep going on and enjoying life as we get it each day.  However I must share about Nanny School…..

This week in Haiti at Maranatha… I think Frankie has been in VBS all week.  If that is so then this VBS seeking mother is very happy.   Emma has already knocked out 2 this summer with Izzie on the back burner waiting to go at some point.  But also this week at Maranatha they are hosting Nanny School.  This wait is to hard but it’s relieved a thousand times over because we believe Frankie is in the best possible hands and the people that are with him and who are responsible for him are doing everything they can to prep him to one day join our family.  It’s scary knowing we will be bringing a 4 year old into our home and knowing that a lot of who he is will be grounded in him by then.  We are very thankful that Frankie has nannies who are being trained to help him… especially with attachment issues and other things. 

So this week they are having Nanny School and not only are they helping the Nannies at Maranatha but Nannies from other orphanages as well.  Here is what Beth wrote on their blog… and look at these ladies…  what a great picture!!!!

 

We planned for 30, have first aid kits for 30, prizes for 30 and lunch for 30.  We are now at 43 with 5 more nannies coming tomorrow.  John is making a pharmacy run in the morning for additional items for the first aid kits, Shelley is cooking more food for lunch and we are adding more chairs daily.  We love it!
Nannies are coming from several different orphanages and learning better ways to care for kids.  They are the best students I have seen in a long time.  They clap, they sing, they shout, they nod their heads in agreement and they stay focused and alert through the teachings. 
Some have asked for copies of the powerpoints to share with others.  I got chills of excitement  at their response (a pretty hard thing to do in this weather) to teachings on how to make sure a baby makes an attachment.  They shouted with the teacher “don’t shake the baby” over and over!  Their zeal is wonderful because we know it translates into better care for the orphans of Haiti.
Nanny school is a lot of work!  Preparation, food, transporting 30  American volunteers from place to place, making sure everything happens on time.   But you know what, it’s a lot harder for an adoptive parent to rebuild a broken child, attach to a child who has been neglected and abused and try to make an abnormal child normal.
This week will make a difference.  I am moved by these students who want to learn, who want to grow, who want to love.  And I am amazed at the 30 volunteers who brought 62 suitcases of supplies to make it happen.
Nanny school – the school of love! 

Beth McHoul

There are nannies from six crèches at the year’s Nanny School

 Today I am thakful for th McHouls and their teams of people and I’m thankful for special people in Frankie’s life… his Nannies.